For many teens, it can be a challenge going back to school after a long break. They’ve just had two plus weeks of freedom from early wake-ups, papers and exams, extracurricular responsibilities and even figuring out what to wear each day. Not to mention the post-holiday letdown that can come after the excitement of celebrating is over. While some teens may look forward to seeing friends and participating in sports again, others might feel overwhelmed with the idea of returning to homework, navigating social anxiety and the feeling of always having to be “on.” For teens who struggle with anxiety, this transition can be particularly difficult.
Here are some ways you can support your teen and help them manage back-to-school anxiety:
- Validate Their Feelings
Simply listening to your teen’s fears about going back to school without dismissing or minimizing them can make a huge impact. First, reflect back their emotions and fears to let them know you really heard them. Then, validate their feelings and provide some empathy. This might sound like: “You’re nervous about going back to school and having tests and projects again. It’s okay to feel anxious – it’s a big change. I feel a bit nervous about getting back into a routine at work too.”
Resist the urge to problem-solve or try to fix it for them. Often, your teen just needs someone to listen.
- Ease Back Into a Routine
During winter break, our typical routines usually go out the window. This is especially true for teens who are exhausted from a packed semester and ready to relax. Stay up late watching Christmas movies? Sure, why not. Sleep in until noon? Of course! Wear pajamas all day? Only makes sense. A sudden return to 6am wake-ups and structured days can be tough.
Help them gradually adjust by starting bedtime and morning routines a few days before school starts again. Encourage them to get a head start by preparing for the week – think backpack organization, updating their planner, setting out school clothes. These small steps can really help minimize the Sunday Scaries.
- Break Down Worries Into Manageable Pieces
It is easy to get overwhelmed by all the homework, projects and extracurricular activities that come with school. Most of us parents also know how easy it is for those feelings of overwhelm to turn into paralysis and procrastination. I will be the first to admit I also struggle with procrastination when I’m overwhelmed by work. Help your teen break down their concerns into smaller, manageable tasks.
For example, if they are worried about a big project, help them break down the assignment into smaller, doable steps.
- Normalize Back-To-School Anxiety
Many teens feel nervous about returning to school after a break. Even if they are looking forward to certain parts of it! It’s completely normal. Remind your teen that many of their classmates probably feel the same way. You can also share times when you have felt similarly and how you coped with it.
- Teach Coping Strategies
Encourage your teen to use healthy coping skills to manage their anxiety. Try out:
Deep breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 2 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds.
5 Senses Grounding Technique: Name 5 things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste.
Journaling: Write down anything and everything on their mind (brain dump) or list 3 things they are grateful for.
- Limit Over-Scheduling
As a parent, you can feel pressured to make sure your teen is involved in sports, the arts, leadership and volunteer work make sure they are the getting the most out of their high school years (and standing out on their college application). While extracurriculars are important, an overly packed schedule can leave your teen feeling burnt out. Work with them to prioritize commitments and build in time for rest and downtime.
- Keep a Lookout For Persistent Anxiety
It is completely normal to have some anxiety about getting back into the school routine. However, if your teen is consistently overwhelmed, withdrawn, having trouble focusing, not sleeping well, avoiding the things that trigger their anxiety or struggling to keep up grades, it may be time to seek additional help. Consider reaching out to a therapist to help your teen navigate more persistent anxiety.
- Celebrate Small Wins
Acknowledge and positively reinforce your teen’s efforts no matter how small! This can really boost their self-confidence and motivation. “I noticed you got yourself up on time for school and were ready to go. I know it’s hard getting back into a routine, I’m proud of the effort you’re showing.”
Final Thoughts
Transitions can be tough, but with patience, empathy and the right tools, you can help your teen feel more prepared and less anxious about returning to school.
If you notice your teen struggling with anxiety or want additional guidance, feel free to reach out. As a therapist based in Greenwood Village, I specialize in helping teens navigate challenges like these, and I’d be honored to support your family.
