The other day, I was cleaning my kitchen. Pretty normal, right? Except I realized I was scrubbing my counters as if a lion was about to pounce on me. My heart was racing, my shoulders were tense, and I was moving like I was on a timer for a reality TV show.
Here’s the thing: there was no lion. There was no timer. Unless you count the baby monitor as a timer (You never know how much time you have left before that naps ends). But mostly, there was just me and some crumbs.
That moment stopped me in my tracks because it perfectly illustrated what so many of us do every day. We go through life in a kind of “amped-up” state — rushing, tense, on alert — even when there’s no actual danger. It’s like our bodies didn’t get the memo that we’re safe.
And this isn’t just about cleaning kitchens. It’s about how we answer emails, how we fold laundry, how we parent, and how we move through life with a nervous system that’s often stuck in overdrive.
Why Your Nervous System Gets Stuck in Overdrive: Polyvagal Theory Explained Simply
According to polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, our nervous system is constantly scanning for danger or safety. It’s like an internal surveillance system that asks: Am I safe? Or do I need to fight, flee, or freeze?
- Fight or Flight (Sympathetic Activation): This is where I was while scrubbing my kitchen counters like a contestant on Survivor. My body thought there was urgency, even though there wasn’t.
- Freeze (Dorsal Vagal Shutdown): On the flip side, sometimes when life feels overwhelming, instead of rushing, we shut down completely — scrolling Instagram, zoning out, or feeling paralyzed by our to-do list.
- Rest & Digest (Ventral Vagal State): This is the state we actually want to be in for daily tasks. It’s where our bodies feel safe, calm, and connected. We can still get things done, but without the edge of panic.
When we live too often in that hyper-alert mode, it impacts more than just how clean our kitchens get. It wears on our mental health, makes anxiety worse, strains our bodies (hello tight shoulders and tension headaches), and leaves us feeling exhausted — even if “all” we did was clean up crumbs.
How to Calm Your Nervous System in Daily Life
The good news? You can train your nervous system to come back to calm throughout the day. Here are a few ways to shift out of “lion-chasing mode” and back into safety:
- Pause and Notice
Next time you’re rushing through a task, stop for just a second and ask: Is this actually urgent? Or is my nervous system tricking me? Naming it is often the first step to calming down. - Breathe Like You Mean It
Try slowing your exhale so it’s longer than your inhale. This signals to your vagus nerve that you’re safe, shifting you toward that “rest and digest” state. - Ground in Your Senses
Look around the room. Name five things you see, four things you feel, three things you hear. This helps anchor you in the present, not in “imaginary lion land.” - Add Playfulness
Put on music while you clean or do a silly dance while loading the dishwasher. Play is a natural regulator of the nervous system. - Build in Micro-Moments of Rest
Instead of waiting for a vacation to relax, sprinkle small pauses throughout your day. Sip your coffee without multitasking. Step outside for a breath of fresh air. Tiny resets matter.
Bringing It All Together
That moment in my kitchen reminded me how easy it is to live life in a state of tension, rushing as if the stakes are higher than they really are. But the truth is, most of the time, we’re safe. There’s no lion. There’s just crumbs.
When we can remind our nervous system of that, we not only feel calmer, but we parent better, work better, and actually enjoy the little things in our day.
Because life isn’t about how quickly you can scrub your countertops. It’s about being present enough to notice the sunlight streaming in while you do it.
Final Thoughts
If you find yourself living life in “lion mode” more often than not, you’re not alone — and it doesn’t have to stay that way. Therapy can help you retrain your nervous system, break the cycle of high-functioning anxiety, and feel more grounded in your daily life.
If this resonates with you, I’d love to help you find more calm in your everyday moments. Reach out to schedule a session. Click here to schedule a free 20-minute consultation with me.
